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Funny bugger

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Have you seen this boy?

A few months ago this oke left durban in a huff to seek his comedy fortune in the greater jhb area ( they don’t have a beach) it obviously didnt work cause he is back, he got one small gig opening for a colored guy named Trevor somebody, anywho I’m digressing. He has some very funny friends and they are all performing at ” the Howard College Theatre” on Friday and Saturday night as in the 20th & 21st.

Ill give two sets of tickets ( that’s actually four tickets) to whoever sends me the funniest joke…but I grew up watching Monty python so it’s going to be a tough task.

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Juddy poo

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Friday the 20th

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So it’s going to be a more chilled affair this week, I can’t drink like that again for at-least another week. But what a jol hey…the ones who made left drunk and happy, the food was better than its been ever (bloody wife always out cooks me).

This Friday will be huge boards of prawns, fresh rolls, chicken flatties and music al la Portia the great. Please book folks 031 2010219 I’d hate to turn you away.

It starts at 6pm so you can bring the kids already bathed and in there pjs, yes ill have a kids meal option…dah.

All my Portuguese love
Juddy poo

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Happy Birthday oh cafe of love

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And so our little story of how The Corner Cafe came to be begins…..once apon a time there was this very good chef named Anna Savage and a cool waiter named Judd Campbell, they searched high and low for the perfect venue to launch their evil cafe plan….

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And so with the help of a very kiff couple Brandon and Mel (very hot) we set to work knocking out walls, moving the toilets, scraping down walls, and putting in windows, and angle grinding floors. The launch date was March the 1st….we opened on the the 13th of August 2007

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Where the doors are leaning against the wall used to be the toilets, and this whole area was a separate room, we broke through like prisoners in “the great escape”

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This area was rented by some guy who filled up fire extinguishers (we still get his mail) and is now our kids area…mainly it’s for my daughter to hang while dad brings home the bacon. Below is Nathan Redpath the cafes first manager, and I think the only staff member in the cafes history that didn’t give me shit or steal or need constant supervision etc

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I nearly peed in my pants when the tables and chairs arrived…..so exciting, I think we traded for a month before the wall paper arrived. It’s all we spent on decor and has made it into nearly every glossy mag around, boom. When Brandon & Mel said lets do bare concrete floors, shitty red school chairs and a big aerial view of Glenwood on the wall I thought perhaps we had hired the wrong team, but it’s been a huge success. I dig you both very much but Mel slightly more for obvious reasons.

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In the background is Rick, one of the fastest waiters I’ve ever worked with, the oke could handle the whole cafe on his own and even over hear people giving me orders and ring them up cause I’d forget, I truly loved this guy….but he died. I’m still Godfather to his daughter, infact we have a coffee named after him “ricoffee” and one rand from every cup goes to Emma, that’s gonna hurt when I have to pay that chunk of cash out for her varsity….lets hope she fails a few more years.

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So above is my dad, he cashed in his medical aid, retirement packages and gave me literally ever cent he had so I could open this place….infact if my dad got sick anytime between 2007 & 2009 he would’ve been in huge shit. He know eats for free and uses the cafe as his personal superette, and rightfully so. I think of it if I could go back now I’d have tried lending from the bank cause my dad can eat like a hungry lion. Then there’s my wife, who took us from salads and Sarmies to what we are today she had the foresight to extend the kitchen, add the bakery, and take the cafe to the next level. Thanx baby, this cafe is half yours. The other guy is my lawyer J.P.Broster this man has saved me hundreds of thousands of rands (literally) and he never lets me forget it. He won’t let me sign a piece of paper without him, amended every agreement and spent ours explaining things to me like stock takes….he reckons they need to be done every month…not sure I agree with him. The other girl in the picture is Sarah she did absolutely nothing to help the cafe.

Then just before we opened we ran out of money, I hit a wall, went onto blood pressure meds and basically fell apart. When my brother (below) stopped round to check on progress and told him we were in shit and he said why you have coffee ( illy gave us 2 big tins) and Hullets dropped of sugar so he couldn’t understand why we didn’t just open and start selling coffee, so said ” bru I don’t even have money for ¥£€%#^\>*? Milk china” and he said ” here’s R50 go buy milk over the road, the worst thing that can happen is if you won the lotto, hit the ground running and you’ll be fine, go buy some fucking milk.” And that is literally how we started , we hit the ground running and haven’t had a quiet day yet.

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Imagine a corner cafe without “Nev The Barber”…. Never this guy cuts more hair than Terri Scott, the guys like Edward Scissor hands, and a success since he opened. I’d drop his rent if he threatened to leave.

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So many changes, so many mistakes, so many staff members it’s been a fab times….yesterday 6 years ago we opened at at 6 am it’s was a cold Monday, I swept the pavement while it was still dark, so excited I could’ve popped….and no-one came in for two hours I was so scared but then they came on mass the first customer walked in at 8:35 and I was a mess so nervous so happy….maybe too happy/nervous cause I’ve never seen that guy again.

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Ok so we’ve started feeding the worlds hungry kids.

Very Robin Hood meets Mia farrow type vibe we are going for.

Very Robin Hood meets Mia farrow type vibe we are going for.

So if you haven’t heard…its a little joint venture/ project thing we’ve started with Kate Freeman Mayo (ex cherry) Eugene (feed the babies.org) Derek Martin (the guy who donates us loads of veg for nothing, the real hero in our story) and me Juddy poo (I’ve got a kitchen and staff with knives)

I'm the only one who can actually fly in the team.

I’m the only one who can actually fly in the team.

Oh there is also another guy, who likes to go unnoticed and is a freakin Eco hero, a man who keeps my menu green and the cafe environmentally conscious. His names Grant Trebble, formally of WESSA (google it) now he does more good than Kumi Naaido for our planet with his little plan to reverse global warming on his own…he is sitting outside I’m going to try get a pic of him….he is a bit like Carlos the Jackal cause no one has a recent pic of him, going in now.
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Got em, ok so this Grant character has helped open 5 factories around South Africa that cut out invasive alien trees from wattle to blue gum and convert them into school desks for the rural areas…the only problem is he has nothing to do with his off cuts….until our merry little band of do gooders pulled into the feeding children thingy.
You see we use these very cool Eco “Rocket Works” stoves that have been sponsored buy even more people with huge hearts. Why are they Eco stoves I hear you say! Well for one thing a kilogram of wood burns for 2 hours or more…that’s cool but its fucking cool if that wood is invasive alien right? Hell yes folks…hence the name “NOW WE ARE COOKING”.
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That’s Dylan behind the cooker, he is butt ugly trust me.

So you see folks, we are doing a large amount of good for kids who can’t feed themselves. We take veg, chop it up cook it down into and blend it into soup, phone Eugene who feeds the kids….I don’t want your money, I want a freezer or two the big chest freezers, I need big industrial blenders, I need more hands to chop veg and I need more buckets.

What the hell have you done today that warrants a big pat on the back. Help us durban, we could be doing so much more….

Juddy-who’s hands are stained yellow from chopping butternut, while you sit on your arse.

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Lupa it’s a Supa

Went to Lupa last night, been battling to get a table even though a good mate owns the new Schlick Hillcrest eatery.
When I called to book I told him that I’ve heard great things he played it down about saying things like ” it’s just pizza and pasta mainly” and ” the decor is simple and nothing fancy” the menu is fantastic, their bases are the best I’ve had the service is sharp and unpretentious. But that’s not the best part folks….they have these two pizza ovens, and from just the right angle they look like beautiful pair of breasts.

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The kitchens all open planned, the bar has this huge framed Italian flag that actually has some blood on it from the war…promise, the manager told me so. The bathroom has the best quote from any movie, and the biggest piece of art in the place is of Marlon Brando sitting over Al Pacino as he hands over power in Godfather two.

So in my opinion Chris spoke shit, it’s not just pizza and pasta, the crispy risotto balls with pork sausages could have a book written about them, the calamari was on a par with the great Ninth Ave Bistro. For mains I had a pizza named after his wife and it was just as hot with jalapeño peppers and hickory smoked ham and slivers of fresh pineapple…in lesser hands it was a Hawaiian Pizza at Lupa it was a triumph, I realize how flowery I sound but it really was my cup of tea. The wife had the special pizza Gorgonzola, Brie & something else it was very good but I couldn’t do the normal trade of one piece swop, as I wasn’t prepared to part with an entire slice, I allowed her a bite and I regarded that as fair, I love food and can’t share it’s my weakness.

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We’ve booked again for this week, I’m not finished with that menu. If you live in Hillcrest you’re just lucky I guess.
Judy-partially-Italian-poo

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I’m cooking chicken on the pavement tonight my chinas…

Dearest people of Mozambique,

I’ve shifted your borders to include the corner of Brand & Cromwell road just for tonight.

It’s going to get ugly people, you will get smoke in your eyes, you will eat chicken that’s far too hot & there is a chance you will get sloshed….if any of that scares you then rather go to “unity bar” tonite.

Look there will be a mild option and you don’t have to eat the peri peri livers if you don’t want, but I will think less of you make no mistake.

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Once again I took this image off google so please don’t come here tonight thinking your chicken will have those little black lines on it because it won’t, get it out your head.

Just had a really chilled mid week break down at happy wanderers wait for it….in a caravan, I haven’t stayed in a caravan since for ever it was uber cool and the kid loved the paddling pools and monkeys and plethora of kids running/riding/screaming around. Like bad parents we drank loads and allowed the rug rat to run around in the sun until she collapsed from fatigue.

As I write this they are both passed out in front of the Telly watching “Steven the sheep” it’s good to get the sand off and have a shave before work tomorrow…..ahhh free coffee and someone else will make it for me, I miss my little cafe on the corner.

Juddy-rested-&-ready poo.

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comedy again folks….very funny, hurry.

im only taking 70 peeps so hurry chinas

im only taking 70 peeps so hurry chinas

no you cat just pitch up like those poor folks from umhlanga who had to drive back home in tears……i cant stress enough that if you name aint on the list you cant come in, ill turn the pope away, oh i will you watch me.

i love you
see you soon ekse
juddy poo